RSS

How you say it…

I watched a beautiful video on facebook today. Here it is:

It reminded me of how powerful my words can be.

Some of you might wish I would stop posting about racial injustice, however, I know how powerful words can be and so I post.

  • I post so that my children will know that their mother fought hard against the injustices they will face.
  • I post so that my black friends know that they have an ally in me.
  • I post, always hopeful that some of my white friends might read what I have shared or what I have written and allow it to challenge their view of the world.
  • I post because I am a follower of Christ and he calls me to love others and sometimes love means pointing out sin. I wish I was more like him because he would do it differently. I’m working on that.
  • I post because to stop posting would mean that I believe my words don’t matter.
  • I post because to stop posting would mean that I surrendered to the idea that the world can’t be changed, or even one person can’t change.
  • I post because to stop posting would mean that I believe racism in all its forms, (institutionalized racism, racist individuals and racist groups) has been eliminated.

So I will post.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , ,

Why I did an 180…

18 years ago, you would have found me listening to Sean Hannity and MIchael Savage. I started listening to Sean Hannity as soon as he came on the national scene. I was conservative through and through. I bought the line that led us to believe that to be a Christian you had to be a conservative.

15 years ago, you would have found me calling in fairly regularly to Bill O’Reilly’s show, Sean Hannity’s show and Glenn Beck’s show spouting conservative rhetoric.

10 years ago, I was still listening regularly to all of them.

9 years ago, in the middle of the summer, our church, Calvary Church in St. Peters, MO (@calvaryonline) announced that they were partnering with a predominantly black church, Greater St. Mark Family Church in St. Louis to plant a purposely-integrated church in North St. Louis county.  Brian and I were intrigued and immediately volunteered to be part of those sent by Calvary. The commitment was for a year to help build the church.

In January of 2007, the beginnings of that church were established with several couples who committed to combat racism by learning to love each other as the body of Christ. It was a beautiful thing. We opened our doors to the public as “Calvary Church at the Mall” in a movie theater in the St. Louis Mills mall on Easter Sunday, 2007 with a black pastor and a white pastor and a black worship leader and a small but committed congregation.  The church has since moved to northern St. Charles but still is an integrated church and we worshipped there every Sunday until we were transferred to the Chicago area in August of 2014.

I will never forget a passage that we studied early in January of 2007 and is what I feel to be the founding passage of that church which is Acts 2 where Jews from all over the world heard Peter’s preaching, accepted Christ and repented of their sins.  Acts 2:42-47 in particular describes the early church. Now keep in mind this included people from all over the known world:

“42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” NIV version from Bible Gateway

We did that and in those early days of the church, those of us who were white listened to our black brothers and sisters in Christ describe what it was like for them to live in St. Louis.  For me, the scales began to be chipped away from my eyes and I began to see the injustice which they lived with every day. Deep friendships with the Pierson, Draper and Washington families continued to chip away at those scales.

These families were patient with me as I began to see that conservatism too often has a negative view of our black brothers and sisters. Yes, I said that. And yes, I meant it.  Please let that sit with you for a few moments.

Conservatism, too often, has a negative view of our black brothers and sisters.

The Political Right, too often, has a negative view of our black brothers and sisters.

Neither will acknowledge the systemic racism in our country. Neither will acknowledge white privilege.  Instead, they claim that all the blame for all of the wrongs which currently exist in the black community belong solely to blacks themselves.

This is untrue. It is a lie.

Take a look at this video which tells the truth.

 

Because there really is systemic racism in our country and because there is such a thing as white privilege, I can no longer subscribe to the political right or to conservatism. As a follower of Christ, I cannot subscribe to a philosophy that denies injustice and points the finger of blame at those it oppresses.

 

 
1 Comment

Posted by on June 23, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Just a little something I had to write this morning…

Family

An ever-changing
moving target
at our house

Acceptance always
our goal
our motivation

Love you where you are
show Christ’s love
believe you want to be
the best you
you are capable of being

Willing to be
a safe place for you
for a season
or for a lifetime

Loving you
is not easy
is heart-bursting
is joyous
is heartbreaking

Tears
of love
of grief
of acceptance
when you choose
to leave

Know you were
and are
loved

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 21, 2014 in adoption, faith, kingdom living, parenting

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

“The Talk”

ShestheCOO:

Excellent piece by another white mom of a black son.

Her assertion below is right on the money:

If you’re unwilling to understand and accept that “white privilege” is a very real thing, then you are part of the problem.

Originally posted on For Liberty:

1794597_10152813858441320_6267328075082991417_nI am a white mom with a black son.  That’s us in the picture on the left.  We love each other very much, as you can see.  Right now, my young son doesn’t see himself as anything beyond a member of our family.  He knows his skin is brown and he knows he’s from Ethiopia, but none of that means anything to him right now.  He’s more concerned with playing Minecraft with his brother than anything else.

We live near St. Louis; a city that has received much bad press lately due to events that happened and continue to happen in the city of Ferguson.  Neighbors tell me their thoughts.  Opinions are shared on Facebook. You can’t NOT hear or talk about it when you live so close to the activity. It was during one such Facebook conversation that I first heard about “The Talk”.  I was reminded today of “The…

View original 560 more words

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 30, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Musing on Being a White Mother to Four Black Boys

I’ll never forget the first time I was asked this question and unfortunately, I didn’t have a really good answer.

“What is it with you and little black boys? Why only black boys?”

The question was asked incredulously as if I might have been harboring a perverted fetish for them and I was shocked.  So I took a big deep breath and answered, “Because black boys are who God pointed out to me.”  While it was a true answer, I wished that I had come up with a better one in that moment. The asker was an African-American woman at a Christian women’s retreat.

Since that time, I’ve been pondering over why it was that God called Brian and I to adopt our four sons and here’s the best conclusion to which I’ve come.  He knew we would fight for them. He knew that we would do the hard work to be the best parents possible for them.  He knew that we were committed to fighting racism even before we became their parents. And He knew that I would share everything I was learning with others.

 

 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 7, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Parenting the Child from Hard Places

Parenting the Child from Hard Places.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 7, 2014 in adoption, parenting

 

Tags: , ,

Cats, Dogs and loving Adopted Children

I have this cat we rescued and named Frank Sinatra. He’s a beautiful orange tabby who when we found him as a baby had the brightest blue eyes (thus the name). We call him Frankie most of the time. He is elusive and prefers hunting outdoors to being inside. When he is inside, he is usually curled in a ball on my side of the bed or sleeping on the ottoman if I am on the couch. Frankie tolerates petting for about 10 seconds and then he is squirming away. But I know this cat loves me because he chooses always to meet me where I am most relaxed.

Our other cat, a gray tabby, is Sammy Davis Jr. (I couldn’t stomach the thought of calling him Deanie, for Dean Martin. Notice our cats are named after the Rat Pack–appropriate don’t you think? But I digress…) Sammy wants to be everywhere I am. He is under my feet every time I turn around. He will jump up on my lap demanding cuddle time and touching his nose to mine in what I choose to call a kitty kiss.

Molly, or Puppy Fox as my granddaughter calls her, is our dog. (She really does look like a fox!) Molly is close to my side always and must suffer from separation anxiety. She comes flying to the front door, barking as loudly and as obnoxiously as she can whenever she hears my car return. Almost as though she’s saying, “Mommy, mommy, mommy! I missed you so much!” She demands my attention every time I sit down.

I love all three of these pets but they each demand love from me on their terms not mine. I can try to force my terms on them but they are unhappy when I do.

So why am I comparing my cats and dog to loving adopted children? Simply because after two years, I have finally decided to accept Frankie’s love expression the way it is and in that instant God showed me the comparison to my adopted children.

If I am willing to receive love from them only my terms then I will miss the love messages they send me every day.

My 16 YO son smiles and pats me in the back. My 15 YO son rarely touches me unless I ask for a hug and then it is very brief, however, he will rush ahead and hold open every door for me. My 12 YO wants to serve me. When he is feeling loving he is asking me what he can do to help and offering to do other ‘s chores. My 7 YO son lives to make me smile. These are their expressions of love which I must hold deeply in my heart especially when I am not being loved the way I would prefer or in the way my biological children express their love for me.

I know my children aren’t pets, so please don’t load up my comments with little nasties, but I am grateful for the lesson Frankie taught me this am when he laid on my chest and let me pet him for exactly 8 seconds before leaping off and laying at my feet while I wrote this.

To my adoptive sons, I vow to treasure your love deep in my heart and to love you in the way you’ll know it best!

 
1 Comment

Posted by on January 29, 2014 in Uncategorized

 
 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 545 other followers

%d bloggers like this: